Weigh ins:

     Dec. 26, 2011: 288 lbs.

     January 2, 012: 284.0

     January 9, 2012: 277.4

     January 16, 2012: 274.0

     January 24, 2012: 269.4

    January 30th, 2012: 269.4

February 6th, 2012: 265.4

March 12th, 2012: 256.6

 May 9th, 2012: 260

Weekly Measurements (bust, waist, hips):

     January 2, 2012: 49, 47,57

     January 9, 2012: 47, 44, 55

     January 16, 2012: 46, 42, 53

     January 30, 2012: 46, 42, 52

February 6, 2012: 45, 41, 51

Stats:

     Age: 20 yrs.

     Height:  5.5

     Lowest Weight: 168 lbs.

     Highest Weight: 288 lbs.

     Goal Weight: 170 lbs.

     Ultimate Goal Weight:  150 lbs.

     Current Weight: 256.6 lbs.

A little background:

I can remember being around 7-8 years old and thinking that I was fat. I started realizing that I was “bigger” than most of the other kids in my class. Kids would make fun of me here and there, and even though it hurt my feelings, it didn’t seem to effect me then. My parents always pushed me to be healthy, but it just wasn’t sticking with me. I’d lose a few pounds and then forget that I was even trying to lose weight to begin with and then gain it all back. When I was in the 11th grade, I believe, I weighed myself one day, and the scale said 213 lbs. I though to myself, “oh my god, what am I going to do?” So I started running.I ran everyday, whether it was sunny, raining, or snowing, it didn’t matter to me. By the end of my senior year I weighed about 170 lbs, and at that weighed I was REALLY happy with how my body was looking. I felt really good about myself. 

When I met my soon-to-be husband, I was the smallest I had ever been. I thought myself as “pretty”, which before I never thought. I began slipping on my eating habits and started being “comfortable” as some might say. His family is Puerto Rican and they cook A LOT of food. It seemed that every time I turned around someone was offering my a plate of food. My eating habits were changing. I was eating whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted. Within a year I had gained almost 100 lbs, and almost three years later, here I am still trying to get rid of the weight. Now, of course Jonathan tells me that I’m beautiful and that I don’t look different, but I know I do. I don’t feel pretty anymore and my confidence is at an all time low. 

I’m getting married June 6, 2012. I keep reminding myself that I have to work extra hard now that it’s so close to the big date. If I had never gained this weight, I wouldn’t have to be going through this right now. I could be focusing on other things. I wouldn’t be letting this hold me back from the important things in life. I now dread seeing anybody I went to high school for fear of them seeing how “fat” I’ve become. 

So this is were I look my fat straight in the eye and say, “get out”. I don’t want you anymore. I don’t want to you holding me back anymore. I don’t want you destroying my confidence anymore. I want to go back to the girl that had a nice curvy figure, had lots of friends, and wasn’t afraid to be seen in public. I want to love my body again, because if I don’t love myself, I can’t expect anyone else to love me. This, right here and now, is where I start taking the weight off and throwing it in to the ocean with an anchor to hold it there forever so I never have to see it again. 

This is for all the girls who are taking back control of their lives, who want to feel their beauty shine from the inside out. For all the girls that aren’t concerned with being “skinny” but being healthy. For all the girls that want to embrace the natural curves that, we as women, were given which can be used an alluring but deadly weapon.